Cannabox Review: Zombie Attack


Cannabox Review


A month has passed and I have finally received another delivery from our friends at Cannabox.  I have been patiently waiting every day for the mail to come and today when I got to my desk it was sitting there like Christmas morning.  The box is super fancy fake wood this month too, so I can only imagine the wonderful gifts that are inside.  Because my boss is a masochist, she made me wait to open this month’s treasure until after our videographer, Dan, got here and took pictures of it.  UGHHHHH. Dan picked the wrong day to be late. After what seemed like an eternity longer than sitting through an entire game of Monopoly, he was done and I could open her up.  And she’s zombie apocalypse themed.  Today is going to be a good day.

V Syndicate Weed Grinder Card

Included in the Cannabox was a living dead grinder card.  This is a relatively new concept to me, but I like it.  Complete with instructions, the card is the size of a business card, but way more important than a piece of cardboard with someone’s inflated job title on it.  Essentially you grind your weed over it like a cheese grater which seems dangerous for my fingers, but it can fit in my wallet so I’m ok with it.

Harcos Lab Zombie Blast

A five hour energy-esque shot of caffeine was also in my wonder box, which is amazing.  The zombie theme was smart because thanks to The Walking Dead everyone is convinced that somehow dead people will find a way to reanimate and torture us all.  Thanks to ebola, I believe this as well.  From a purely fictional zombie standpoint, the energy shot will be beneficial if you find yourself being so stoned that you won’t be able to fight off people trying to gnaw on your forearm.  From a realistic standpoint, I find this beneficial as lunch got a little out of control today and I have a lot of writing to stay awake for.

The Zombie Apocalypse Premium Rolling Papers by Chris Hill Artist Chris Hill has put out a new line of zombie-themed rolling papers and they’re pretty fancy.  These papers are 100% hemp and 100% awesome.  Normally, these papers are on the pricier side of things, so I appreciate Cannabox providing them to me for the low, low price of my monthly membership.  There are five signature characters in all, and I was lucky enough to get Clem Perkins, the jean jacket vest, confederate belt buckle redneck zombie (because I’m in the south?).  Included on the inside flap of the packaging are Hill’s tips for surviving a zombie apocalypse, which include:  Don’t be a hero, don’t get sentimental, and stay in shape.  Thank you, Mr. Hill, for expressing concern for both my weed and my well being in these trying times.

Bullet 2 Go Vaporizer

Now for the cous de gras of this months Cannabox:  the Bullet 2 Go vaporizer.  She’s a beaut.  Compatible for both herb and wax, she’s goes both ways; just like me.  The Bullet 2 Go vaporizer is small and discreet enough to hide in your pocket and bring pretty much anywhere innocuously, and therefore is very aptly named.  The best part of the Bullet 2 Go is that it’s rechargeable battery actually is a USB port that plugs into your computer.  It gives me unmeasurable joy to know that while I work I can charge up my vaporizer right in front of me.  It’s like I can constantly look at my reward for doing a good job, and that is motivational.

Cyclones Pre-Rolled Cigar Cone

For those of you too lazy or stoned (or both) to roll your own blunt, never fear, Cyclones has got you.  It has never been easier to smoke a big fatty, thanks to their Xtra Slo Urban Assault pre-rolled cigar cone, complete with wooden dank 7 tip.  Not to mention it’s been soaked for 7 days so it smells heavenly.

The only downside of the easiest blunt roll in the world is that it comes with a small plastic tube inside to keep it from smushing down in the box, and I’m not going to lie when I say that it was no easy feat to get it out.  Not to mention the concern for those who may not notice it’s in there and accidentally inhale a little bit of it. There were two other novelty items included in this month’s surprise:  an ashtray and a sticker with a cartoon zombie saying “I have the munchies.”  They now have permanent homes on my desk, and I couldn’t be happier.  Once again Cannabox has not only NOT let me down, but has successfully been the highlight of my week.

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