Dong Bongs

weed

Looks like someone might be experimenting with more than just weed

 Because I am a nine year old boy trapped in a twenty-six year old woman’s body, I think dick shaped things are HILARIOUS. In fact, anything shaped like genatalia is good for me. Now, very quickly take a look at our photo galleries of all these gorgeous women putting things in their mouths. I’ll give you ample time to really explore all these photos. Sexy, right? What if, and bear with me now, we put those two things together? Magic, that’s what.

Dick shaped bowls and bongs not only exist, but are quite popular. For once I cannot speak from personal experience, but I’m pretty sure they could double as sex toys too. Not to mention how popular you will be at parties. Think of all the stoned girls that will come flocking to where you sit in order to put their mouths on your dick bowl. It is such an easy in. I like the idea of dong bongs because, A. I like dicks and B. It is finally a win for stoner girl culture.

How To Find Them

Clearly bowls were going to be made into penises. That concept didn’t take a whole lot of imagination. Bongs too. Although these sexual smoking devices were no surprise to me, what was a surprise was how prolific they were. I shit you not, I found several for sale on etsy. In fact, every online head shop I visited had something to offer if you wanted to be aroused as possible when smoking weed.

Here is what I want to know: Can I customize a penis bowl? Don’t even act like that wouldn’t be the best gift ever, for everyone from everyone. Men could make custom penis bowls for their significant others and side pieces everywhere. Women could give them to their men and side pieces (because we have them too) as gifts. Imagine how Christmas and Valentine’s Day would go?!? It is the ultimate combination of both vanity and flattery. The answer to my question right now is, no. There is no website that I could find that would allow me to customize my bowl to perfectly match my partner’s (sidepiece’s) actual dick. Unless you’re Demi Moore in “Ghost” savvy with pottery clay, you may just have to wait for now.

What Does This Mean For The Stoned Girl?

Clearly Stoned Girls is on the pursuit to debunk the rumor that women don’t enjoy smoking weed like men do, and we’re doing a good job. I count these dick pieces as a win in our category. When you Google search “dick bongs” you get a lot of threads written by men talking about how they don’t want to smoke out of them. Well, unless you are the type of man who likes dicks in your mouth (and there is nothing wrong with that) they are not for you! For once, there is something out there weed related that is made just for women to enjoy with other women. That must mean women like smoking weed so much that there is a whole sub-genre of smoking devices dedicated to us.

We Didn’t Forget The Men…Or Lesbians

weed

This one isn’t bad. But I spent A LOT of time looking for a nice one! And you have to admit the bong looks like a fat chick, or pregnant. In which case you should not be smoking around her.

There are a few “sexualized” smoking devices out there that will appeal to straight men and lesbians. I love women as much as the next man, but I’m  not going to lie when I say that they are awkward. Sometimes boobs are  just added to the shaft of either the bong or bowl, which look weird and out of place. Also, it makes said “lady bong” look like she has an  unfortunate chubby tummy.

There are some bowls that are the full body of the woman in a bending over/laying position and you smoke out of her ass. I applaud your effort, but I feel like imagining all of the things that happen to the ass while I’m smoking is just too much for me. Even if they are inferior to what us stoned girls have, at least they are out there, right?

The beautiful thing about these dick shaped smoking pieces is that everyone can enjoy them. Women get to smoke out of them and feel fun and fancy in the process. Men, while not necessarily wanting to smoke out of them, do get to at least watch hot young women put them in their mouths. Most importantly, though, women finally get something that is just for us, and you can’t put a price on that. Now go ahead and go back to our photos.


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