Free Weed For A Year
I have the best job in the world, and finally, you too can reap the benefits of StonedGirls.com! We pride ourselves on being innovative, amazing and generous as fuck, and we’ve really outdone ourselves this time. We are all about those of you who visit our site. That’s why we bring you super-hot naked ladies smoking weed. And, why we employ the best writers on the planet to make you chuckle after you’re done ogling vaginas. Seriously, though. Think about it. Where else are all of a man’s basic needs met in one convenient place? That being said, we seem to have left out one crucial part — weed. That’s right, we can’t bring you weed. Oh, wait. Yes we can.
Tell Me More
Stoned Girls is giving away weed. We’re like the Oprah of weed. Well, to one person at least. One lucky person in America will win free weed for an entire fucking year, compliments of Stoned Girls. Sounds too good to be true? It’s not. Do you have to do something ridiculous to win? You don’t.
I am a huge daddy’s girl, and when I was a kid, my dad made a lot of my Halloween costumes for me. One year, he decided to make a badass Gumby costume out of 2-inch thick foam for me. He cut it out and sprayed it (and me) green, and wished me luck on my trick-or-treating adventures. I grew up outside of Chicago, so most Halloweens were pretty chilly by the time the sun went down. Not this year. This year was hot as balls. Anyway, me and my two best friends walked door-to-door, collecting candy until we got to this one old bitch’s house. We knocked on her door, and she refused to give us candy until we did a trick, ensuring that we earned our prize. Umm bitch, that’s not how America works. Anyway, my friend Katie sang a few lines from a Spice Girls song, Jen did a cart wheel, and I tried to run to the end of the yard and back without Hulking out of my foam suit, all the while sweating balls. Old bitch didn’t think this was good enough, but reluctantly gave me candy anyway, because she approved of my friends tricks. I tell you this because A. It’s almost Halloween, and B. We won’t make you do any tricks for your weed treats.
How Do I Win?
All you have to do to qualify for Stoned Girls Free-Weed-for-a-Year contest is get super baked and check out StonedGirls.com. Once you’re there, look at a bunch of naked women. Possibly touch yourself sexually. Then, when that is out of your system, go to the Sex and Weed tab, and read all of the articles. Draft a carefully worded e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org telling me how talented I am. After that, go to StonedGirls.com/free-weed and give us your e-mail address, so when you win, we know how to get a hold of you. The contest will be running from January 1, 2015 to March 31, 2015, so there is plenty of time to make sure your name is entered as many times as humanly possible. Still don’t think that’s enough? If you share us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, we will enter you in twice! It really is that easy.
What’s The Catch?
There isn’t one. Our very shrewd lawyer made sure everything is legit. The only two qualifications to win free weed for a year from StonedGirls.com are: you must be 21 or over to enter, and you must pick up your free weed for a year from a state where marijuana is recreationally legal. But, don’t worry, we will find the state that’s closest to you, so you won’t have to travel too far.
It has never been easier to be a pothead, thanks to Stoned Girls. The contest is already running, so if you’re just reading this now, you’re a few days behind. Get on your computer, phone, tablet, or anything else Internet friendly, and get signed up. You don’t want to miss this.