My Job Is Better Than Yours


Wake N’ Bake I wake up every morning at 6:30 am, zombie-walk to the shower, dry my hair, make coffee, smoke a bowl, wait in unnecessary traffic on the highway, and finally walk into the office around 8:40.  I sit at my desk and respond to e-mails for around 20 minutes until all of my bosses arrive.

My Day at the Office

Then I write, sometimes I go to meetings, and oftentimes I don’t even go outside for the eight or so hours I’m there.  Sounds awful, right?  Like one day I’m going to have a complete breakdown and show up with my head shaved Brittney-style?  Not a fucking chance.

One time I accidentally ate mushrooms on a Tuesday afternoon, and that wasn’t nearly as much of an adventure as every single day in the office is.  I am constantly around the most savvy, intelligent women I have ever met, and I laugh so hard that I almost have abs again.  Oh, and being surrounded by naked women and weed for eight hours a day is pretty much as good as it gets for most people.

Never a Dull Moment

Whether it is a nude photo shoot with some of the hottest women in the world, a product review for a new smoking device, or going to a fetish club for “research,” there is literally never a dull moment.  Hard work is rewarded with happy hours, free lunches, or getting to watch Drake’s “Side Piece” performance on the ESPYs 38 times in a row, because we all know it gets funnier every time.  I mean, Brian McKnight?  Come on!


…Your welcome!
We get to go on trips to hippie hotspots around the country.  Twice a week we have photo and video shoots with the hottest naked women on the planet.  We have daily meetings about marijuana.  Even a bad day here is better than the best day anywhere else.

Every single person in the office has said to me at least once that they have never had a job that they actually looked forward to being at every day, and I have to say I agree.  Work is so fun that sometimes it even seems like no one wants to leave at the end of the day.  As a matter of fact, it’s not even work, it’s everyone collectively doing what they love.  It just so happens that it pays our bills.

Huffington Post Ain’t Got Nothing on Me

After I got hired, and everyone I know got over their initial envy, a friend showed me a Huffington Post article regarding a job posting for a sex columnist with a marijuana focus for a Colorado based news source called The Cannabist.  The title of the article was “Best Job Posting Ever Seeks Sex-Loving Pothead.”  I respectfully disagree, Huffington Post.  I have the exact same job title here at Stoned Girls, but I raise you weekly titties and ass.  I suggest you fold, because I will win 100 out of 100 times.

“Sex” is the number one word searched on Google and marijuana legislation is in the news every single day.  Neither one of these things are going to change anytime soon.  This industry is burgeoning and so are we.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I have the best job ever, and neither it nor I are going anywhere anytime soon.

You May Also Like