A lot of times at work the all female team at Stoned Girls congregates in my boss’s luxurious office, because it’s fun and we get a lot of brainstorming (gossiping) done. Because we are super fancy bitches, we will chrome cast tv shows and movies onto the unnecessary and ridiculous amount of tvs on the wall. Last week was Kardashian week, and I couldn’t be more disappointed.
First let me say that I respect the fact that the Kardashians are able to market themselves so well. They took Kim being famous for absolutely nothing and turned it into a Donald Trump-esque empire, and that is neat. What I hate is how fucking terrible their show is, and how egotistical they are. Except for Khloe. Khloe is my girl. Anyway, as we watched the show for several hours on end each day I couldn’t help but feel like I lost a few IQ points. There were even a few times where I had to excuse myself and weep openly at my desk. At one point there were literally two full episodes about whether or not Khloe would be going to New York with the rest of the clan. TWO. FULL. EPISODES.
We decided during one of these pow wows that a fun repeat segment for me to write was something we like to call “Bitch, Are You High?” in which I sarcastically highlight the most awful and/or stupid celebrity news. You’re welcome.
It is only appropriate that we choose the most ridiculous celebrity of all to start us off, Kim Kardashian. Recently, a list of Kim’s endorsement demands were made public, and we couldn’t help but think she’s been toking on something. Although she is famous for literally nothing, in order to endorse a product, Kim requires a fee of $750,000 to one million dollars initially, plus a per diem rate. She also needs five first class plane tickets, along with one coach ticket. Wait, who has to ride coach? Our guess is Rob. Kim also needs an airport greeter, portal to portal first class transportation, a first class hotel suite, and something called a glam fee. Once again, all this for just an endorsement. Kim, you have no real talent, and here at Naked Weed Report we keep asking ourselves, “Bitch, are you high???”