While browsing the Interweb last night, I came across this deep realization on highdeas.com, and I just have to say, jguamaccia, I think you are onto something. It is definitely fucking sweet that chameleons can blend in with their surroundings, and I do admit, I have spent more than my fair share of time watching documentary clips of these lizards changing colors. It is just so unbelievable that they have such a supernatural ability such as this. And then, I got to thinking… What if humans could do this?! More importantly, what if stoners could do this?!
Think of all those times you wanted to go out in public, but were just too paranoid to step foot out of your front door. Or maybe you were just too baked to talk to anyone. Perhaps you were afraid someone would confront you or want to have a serious conversation with you, when all you want to do is get your shit done and get your ass back to the house to smoke another bowl. Having the ability to blend in with your surroundings would be more than convenient, it would be game-changing.
Say you desperately need extra credit for one of your philosophy courses, and you planned to attend a late-evening lecture on campus. Of course, you got baked as fuck for that shit… but unfortunately, you took one too many bong rips, and now you are geeking out. Campus is fucking scary when you are high. I get it. I’ve been there. I used to get people’s faces confused, and I would say hi to strangers thinking they were my friends, and then when I got closer, I’d realize I had no fucking idea who they were, and then I’d geek out harder.
Anyway, if you had the ability to blend in with your surroundings, you’d be able to secretly creep across campus to the lecture hall without anyone seeing you. Of course, you’d have to be careful. People may see your figure strolling along, and undoubtedly, they’d have questions. Just linger in the shadows, and you’ll be fine.
Once you got to the lecture hall, be sure to stand in the back, against the wall – that way you blend in 100% and no one will even notice you. You will be able to get all the information you need to write up a paper for extra credit, and you will pass the course! Then, you will graduate and become a famous philosopher, and students will be attending lectures about you 100 years from now.
So, what I am trying to say is, all of our dreams would come true, if only we could blend in with our surroundings like chameleons do. You lucky bastards. Stoners everywhere now envy the shit out of you!