Ever since I accidentally stumbled head first into the BDSM and fetish community, I have been eager to learn everything I can about the lifestyle. Now, I can proudly say that I am well versed in the art of the smoking blowjob. For those of you who don’t know what a smoking blowjob is, please get your fucking life together and refer to my previous article Living The FetLife: My Journey Into Sexual Fetishism. Anyway, I have watched hundreds of smoking blowjob videos, as well as performed more than my fair share of them. All in all, I love it. Smoking blowjobs make me feel sexy and powerful. Incorporating weed directly into sex obviously intensifies the experience, plus it leads to a level of trust and intimacy between myself and my partner, which I am sure we couldn’t have achieved otherwise.
Personally, during smoking blowjobs, I prefer to smoke a joint. A blunt is a little too much for me to smoke by myself (I don’t want to be comatose for sex, you know), and a bowl or bong makes things a little more difficult as they require two hands, which leaves the dick a little lonely while I’m lighting up. Of course, I have been tirelessly trying to think of a solution to this problem — little did I know someone has already taken care of this for me.
There is a relatively new device in the fetish/cannabis-culture scene called the Cockpipe, and I couldn’t be more aroused, excited, or nervous about it. Essentially, it is a silicone sleeve that fits over an erect dick with a pipe on top that you can smoke out of. The creators of the Cockpipe assure us that the silicone sleeve will stretch, so that one size will fit all men comfortably. (I can’t wait to find that out. I mean, I would be remiss in my duties as a sex blogger if I didn’t thoroughly test out everything.) Sitting on top of the sleeve is a silicone-covered mouth piece and on top of that is a “removable and easy-to-clean bowl.”
At this point in my discovery process, I am wide-eyed with the wonderment that I usually reserve for exceptionally excellent weed and men who are too good for me. The device looks cool as shit, but does it work? And more importantly, how does it work? And most importantly, how do I get my hands on one in the next 30 minutes?
How Does It Work?
Holy fucking shit, there’s a video. Both arousing and informational, the Cockpipe video answered almost all of my questions. One thing I noticed about the sleeve at least is that it seemed to not only be a pleasurable addition to the blowjob, but also it could probably help your man maintain a raging erection, if needed. The lovely young lady in the video seemed to have no problem pulling a really good hit off of the pipe while still having a dick in her mouth, which is something that was previously not an option in the smoking blowjob world. Before, the only way to get a hit was to stop the oral penetration and then blow smoke onto the dick. This is what (wet) dreams are made of.
PSA: Use With Caution
I want to take it upon myself, however, to issue a huge public service announcement to those of you looking to improve your life with the Cockpipe. DO NOT USE THIS WITH A RANDOM PERSON YOU PICKED UP AT THE THIRSTY BEAVER ON A TUESDAY NIGHT WHOSE NAME YOU DON’T KNOW. Please, for the love of God, keep in mind that, unlike the usual smoking blowjob, this involves A LIT BOWL LITERALLY STRAPPED TO YOUR MAN’S DICK. Not only that, but an OPEN FLAME will be needed to light the bowl strapped to the dick. Take a moment to think about that.
With that being said, I encourage all of you to go out and purchase the Cockpipe (for the low, low price of $19.95). Just make sure you can trust the person you’re using it with. I have already ordered my Cockpipe, so be on the lookout next week for a product review from yours truly. I feel confident, however, in saying that I am already sure that the Cockpipe has truly changed the smoking blowjob game.
To get your very own Cockpipe, check out www.cockpipe.xxx. To let me know what you think about it, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org