Ask A Stoned Girl: Dating, Distraction, And Role Play


I’m dating someone new, when should I tell them I smoke weed?

I think there are a lot of variables in this question.  Obviously you aren’t walking around smelling like an incense factory wearing a hat with an emblazoned weed leaf on it.  Neither are they.  First, they might smoke and be asking themselves the very same question about you.

Second, I think this subject should be broached pretty early in a burgeoning relationship.  Oftentimes, it is very hard for smokers and non-smokers to date, so that way you don’t get attached to something that isn’t going to work.  Also, there are people in your life that you obviously don’t want to broadcast your weed habits to:  your grandmother, your boss, your religious advisor.  I get that.  But your partner shouldn’t be one of them.  Are you afraid they are going to judge you or not want to be with you when they find out?  If so, they are not the person for you.  Think about it this way:  Every person you date you will either eventually break up or marry.  Heavy, right?  That being said, don’t start a potential good relationship off with lies, or lies by omission.  And don’t hide who you are, it’s bad for your health.

When my boyfriend smokes, he gets distracted and we don’t end up having sex most of the time.  What do I do?

This is a shame, but also a common problem, so don’t feel bad.  While stoned sex is the best sex, it is easy to get sucked into Halo and Wikipedia articles for hours upon hours and end up missing out on the actual deed.  This also may be a sign to change things up in the bedroom a bit.

First, get out of the bedroom.  There is nothing wrong with having sex everywhere in the house.  If he has a habit of getting high and vegging out on the couch, seize that opportunity to create some good memories there.  That way the next time he is high and sitting in his “Captain’s Seat,” he can remember what happened there and get more in the mood.  Also, use this as an opportunity to possibly do some dress up/role playing.  Get high and get creative with your outfit.  Be so sexy that he can’t help but put down the video games and spend some quality time with you.  If all else fails, talk to him about it.  From my experience, he will  be more than happy to creative problem solve with you.

I’ve been with my guy for a while and he wants to add role playing to our sexual repertoire.  I’m a little nervous I won’t really be able to get into it.  How can I make sure I don’t ruin it for him?

First, you obviously want to make sure this is something you are comfortable with doing.  If you are open to the role playing, but are just having trouble getting into character and suspending reality, Mary Jane is your new best friend.  Smoking weed can definitely lower your inhibitions a little bit and make you feel more comfortable trying new things.  She will make you feel sillier and more open to playing around.  Also, a common side effect of being a pot head is a spike in creativity.  Work hard on your costume and get really into thinking about what you will say and how you will act.  Doing this will not only get you excited and aroused for your partner, but you will be more apt to follow it through as you have spent so much time on it.    

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