Pot and Penetration: Female Edition

bed weed

Nothing like smoking weed right in the bedroom

Here at Stoned Girls, we are a group of strong, independent, unashamed women, and we like to talk about sex.  I don’t know if men know this or not, but women like to have sex while they’re high.  It lowers our inhibitions and makes us feel sexy.  We get more thoughtful and playful and creative.  It makes us hornier for different types of sex.

We’ve All Been There

One problem that we all share, though, is that as professional and busy ladies, it is hard to find the time to get it on, and when we do we are either too tired, stressed, or distracted to really be able to enjoy it.  I read somewhere on the internet (so we know it’s true) that women have a harder time reaching the BIG O because it is important to them to feel comfortable and carefree in their environment, whereas it is not a major concern for men.  As someone who has a vagina, I am inclined to agree.  Between work, school, second jobs, bills, and needs at home, we collectively need to embrace Mary Jane as our escape into sexy time.

An article on pbs.org was detailing what they thought were the negative effects of marijuana usage, and they cited memory loss as a chief(ing) issue.  They go so far as to say, “In a survey of 150 pot using students, 59% surveyed report they sometimes forget what a conversation is about before it has ended.”  Not going to lie, this made me laugh, quite loudly actually, at my desk.  We’ve all been there.  They also used the phrase “marijuana cigarette” about 38 times and like the good white girl that I am, I just literally couldn’t even.

But seriously

When we get home and we’re relaying our day to our loved ones, wouldn’t it be nice if the conversations went something like this: “Lisa was such a bitch at the office today, and I’ve got so much work to do and not enough time, not to mention I think the housekeeper got into the good bourbon and…my sheets are still dirty…what are we paying her for…What was I saying..?”  That short-term distraction is what women need in order to let go of all the little daily annoyances that keep our minds preoccupied in the sack.


Another side effect of smoking weed is an increased heart rate.  Weird, that’s also what happens to a woman’s body when she gets aroused.  Pot actually aids in getting the juices flowing.  It gets us flushed, excited, and ready to fuck.

There’s no one I like tucking me into bed more than Mary Jane.  After a couple hours of relaxation, peaceful introspection, and maybe even a few giggles, she lifts me off to dream land like a sexy Peter Pan.  Getting ample rest at night leads to a happier more energetic morning.  Everydayhealth.com actually suggests waiting for coitus until the morning, because circadian rhythm suggests it’s the best time to get down.  So, if, for whatever reason, you are just not the type of woman who gets good and horny after blazing up, you can always get some rest and wait until morning.

In Conclusion

There you have it, my sexy and professional sisters.  It might take some time to figure out exactly what pot/penetration combination makes you the most comfortable, but that’s okay.  I recommend trial, error, a whole lot of practice, and weed.

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