Ask A Stoned Girl: Horny Highs and Porn Problems

faded-fantasies Our first question today comes to us all the way from the sunny desert land of Arizona.  Our friend writes:

The only way for me to get through my shitty job is to get high before I go in, but I get so horny that I can’t concentrate on anything when I get there.  What do I do?

We’ve all been here, whether its marijuana induced or not.  There is nothing worse, but also more fun, that being so horny you can’t get any work done at the office.  Personally, I recommend smoking in moderation to break up your day and give you something to look forward to when you get home.

Here is my advice for you, my horny friend.  First, get another job.  It is super evident you hate your job, and it personally breaks my heart to know people are out there spending literally 25% of their life (which amounts to 35% of their waking life) miserable.  It’s not worth it, you know?  But, while you are on the quest for new employment, here is my solution to your problem.  I know an alarming amount of people who get down with themselves at work.  However, this isn’t something I would necessarily recommend as it may lead to unemployment and possibly a sex offense charge.

Instead, I suggest – and I know this may not seem ideal — waking up a little earlier to smoke and masturbate.  Use your impending orgasm as motivation to get out of bed. And hey, who knows, it might even make you like your job a little bit more.

 

I love my boyfriend, but when he smokes weed he only wants to watch porn.  I try to get him to have sex with me, but he’s only interested in the girls on the computer screen.  What do I do?

I’m sorry to hear that there is a lack of penetration in your life, but the bright side is that he still gets horny after smoking… just not for you.  I know that sounds horrible, but it’s really not, as there is a really easy fix for this.  The most common cause for this is a lack of excitement in the bedroom that inevitably happens after the honeymoon stage has passed.

My first piece of advice is to watch porn with him.  Engaging in an activity that he enjoys solely to make him happy will not only improve your physical and sexual relationship, but also your emotional relationship. Not to mention, you will appear a million times sexier, and should help your boyfriend get in the mood for penetration in no time. Something else you can do is role play. The fantasy aspect of porn may be what’s doing it for your man, so if you are able to create your own version of fantasy in the bedroom, you may be able to draw him away from the hot glow of electric sex.


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